Fears

Today I was in church and for some reason during sacrament meeting I could not get the thought of fear out of my head. I kept thinking about silly little fears that I have of things such as spiders or clowns or real legit fears...the ones that keep you up late at night or give you the chills...so I decided to write out three of my legitimate fears.

1.

The first one would have to be drowning. I have a serious fear of that. I love the ocean, I love swimming, I love everything about the water other than the fact that I can't breath under the water and that I could potentially drown. I remember in high school for my senior project I considered getting my scuba license so that I could accomplish a dream of mine to go to the great barrier reef and scuba dive there. Well, besides the fact that I dropped out of my english class because I didn't need the credits and therefore didn't need to do a senior project anymore I just couldn't get the fear out of my head of being under the water and not being able to breath. I know that while scuba diving you get an oxygen tank or whatever else but I just couldn't shake that fear of 'what if I run out of oxygen' or 'what if I get attacked by a shark and I can't get back up because I am injured and then I will run out of oxygen' [and this my friends is my logical thinking...ha ha ha] so I never did it. I still have that dream to do it someday but for now, that is one of my really big fears.

2.

I think I will go with dying young next. I have this fear of time. Time is a funny thing. It moves fast at times, slow at others and then before I know it I am able to say things like "15 years ago" and have that be a legit statement because I would've been ten years old 15 years ago and that is totally an age that I remember being...it is just insane. I just have this fear of dying before I get the chance to do everything I want to do and time is a factor there. I have goals and life plans and I am working towards those things but what if I dont get to do any of it? What if tomorrow I just never wake up and then I never got the chance to get married or have a family of my own and that scares me. It really does. There are things in this life I would like to do like travel more or whatever, but I have a strong desire for other righteous things like marriage and what if that just never happens for me in this life? It sucks to think about! It is great that I am still young and still single but seriously? If I were to die next week, I would probably cry in heaven that I never got to have those things in this life. 

3.

My final one is a little bit more personal but I have a very legitimate fear of being infertile. I don't know where it comes from and I don't think that I will have any problems like that when that time comes for me (knock on wood) but it is a fear, and it is real. I know that Heavenly Father gives us our own individual trials to deal with so that we can learn and grow and progress in this life, but that doesn't change the fact that things such as infertility are scary and sad. I guess for now I will just continue to pray for the step that comes before kids and then I will cross that bridge when I get there! 

I know I definitely have other fears including things like raptors, serial killers, eternal bad breath, annnd being fat but a couple of those may be a tad irrational... What are some of your fears and why are they your fears? I definitely would love to know!